Mixed feelings

Today, I found out a friend of mine is having a baby.

Her and I were pregnant with our first babies together, due 5 days apart. With both of us being first time moms, it was awesome to have a pregnancy buddy, someone who understood the need to try on 5 different outfits in order to find something that fit, or the amazingness that was an ice cold glass of chocolate milk first thing in the morning. Her little girl was born 6 days before my daughter, and only an ounce different in birth weight.

Now that she's on to her second baby, it's brought up a lot of different feelings for me. Happiness for her of course, but also a large amount of jealousy. Both times, it's taken her less than 4 months to get pregnant. It took me almost 2 years, a PCOS diagnosis, and a couple of rounds of Clomid to get pregnant with E. P and I have been talking about trying for number 2 for awhile now, and we've decided to hold off for a little bit, for various reasons, mainly financial. I know it's the right decision, but I still feel a little like we're being left behind. Soon we'll be the only couple out of our circle of friends that doesn't have two or more kids. It's a little ridiculous to feel like we're running out of time, I'm only 31, but deep down I'm worried that the Clomid won't work the second time around, and I don't know how far down the road of fertility treatments we'd be willing to go. Putting the cart ahead of the horse a bit, I know.

All that aside, I'm excited to be able to buy tiny baby clothes for a good friend again :)